Signs that you have an anxious attachment style (2023)

Anxious attachment, sometimes simply called problem attachment or anxious attachment, is manifested by high anxiety about the relationships and relationships in our lives.

Stilovi Privitkathey refer to a person's feelings and behaviors in relation to important relationships in their life. We configure the attachment style assmall childrenalthough these styles may change over time in response to life experiences, trauma and healing.

Research on attachment styles contributed significantly to this workฮ”ฯ. Mary Ainsworth, a developmental psychologist who has studied how children's attachment influences their reaction to an unfamiliar situation.

If your attachment style is fear-focused, you may be in serious troubleconfidentialpeople and they are very afraid of rejection. While you may desire close, intimate relationships, your fear of abandonment can affect your ability to form such relationships.

Signs of aversive attachment avoidance

Signs of restless, preoccupied attachment

People with an anxious attachment style tend to be like thislow self-esteemand negative self-esteem. They tend to see others as better than themselves and therefore can be prone to dependency and dependence in relationships.

It's important to remember that preoccupied attachment style doesn't mean you're inferior to others. Rather, it means youtouchthey are worse.

If you have an anxiously preoccupied attachment style, you may feel a strong need for close relationships, a fear of abandonment and rejection, and difficulty trusting others. You may be overly sensitive to other people's feelings and behaviors, and you may tend to jump to conclusions about your partner's mood because of these concerns.

(Video) 10 Signs You May Have An Anxious Attachment Style

If a child has an anxious and preoccupied attachment style, they are likely to become attached to a parent or caregiver and may show signs ofseparation anxiety. They may become very upset when a parent leaves them in the care of another caregiver, and may express fear that the parent will not return. After their parents return, they can immediately run to their parents for comfort.

Identification of restless, preoccupied attachment

Although attachment anxiety is not an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), it can manifest as a symptom of certain diagnoses, including:

  • Borderline Personality Disorder: Borderline Disorder(BPD):People with BPD experience "frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment"component of the anxious attachment style.
  • social phobia(social phobia):People diagnosed with social phobia experience intense anxiety that others will judge or think negatively of them and may experience problematic attachment.
  • Substance use disorder(Soap opera):Research has shown that some people with SUD may exhibit a preoccupied attachment style.

While attachment style cannot definitively predict that a person will develop a particular diagnosis, identifying an attachment style can help you understand how you approach relationships and develop an appropriate treatment plan.

Causes of anxious attachment

Attachment anxiety is often influenced by several factors. Some causes that may play a role include:


As with most aspects of our mental health, genetic factors can influence attachment styles. However, early childhood experiences and interactions with caregivers play an important role in the development of attachment styles.

Stress and trauma

stressful ortraumaticevents can cause a child to develop an anxious and preoccupied attachment style. If the infant experiences inconsistent responses from the caregiver, he will develop insecurity and anxiety about whether his needs will be met.

If the parent is sometimes available and caring and sometimes unavailable, this can make the child feel insecure because they are unable to understand or predict the parent's behavior.

Parental behavior

If the parents are overprotective, the child may develop a preoccupied attachment style. The child can sense the parents' anxiety and fear that they are dangerous and need strong protection from harm.

If the infant experiences inconsistent responses from the caregiver, he will develop insecurity and anxiety about whether his needs will be met. If the parent is sometimes available and caring and sometimes unavailable, this can make the child feel insecure because they are unable to understand or predict the parent's behavior.

(Video) 8 Signs of an Anxious Attachment Style

Relationships with adults

In adulthood, a person may develop features of this attachment style if they experience this inconsistency from a romantic partner or friend. Partners who show inconsistent feelings oremotional abusebehaviors can cause insecurity and anxiety in a relationship.

For example, if your partner keeps telling you that you are unintelligent, incompetent, and increasingly incompetent, you may start to believe these things about yourself. These beliefs can make you cling to and rely on your partner for protection and care that you feel you cannot provide on your own.

Dealing with preoccupied attachment style

People with an anxious and preoccupied attachment style may experience problems in relationships, emotions, and mental health as a result of the attachment style. However, research has shown that our attachment style can change throughout our lives in response to experiences and therapy.

If a person with this attachment style is diagnosed with a mental illness, they may benefit from therapy and other evidence-based treatments to achieve that diagnosis.Attachment therapiescan deal with specific, maladaptive attachment styles.

Because attachment styles affect relationships, a person with an absorbed attachment style who is in a long-term relationship can benefitpar therapywork on acknowledging your feelings and communicate with your partner in a healthy way.

Children and young people will benefitfamily therapybuild healthier relationships with carers and other family members.Parent-child interaction therapyis a specific type of family therapy that promotes healthy attachment.


Research has shown that our attachment style can change throughout our lives in response to experiences and therapy.

Dealing with an anxious, preoccupied attachment

Realizing that you have a preoccupied attachment style is an important step in understanding your behavior and feelings in relationships. You can then use that knowledge to find the right treatment and make changes.

(Video) Signs You Have Anxious Attachment | Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Self Help

  • Learn healthy communication skillsand share your needs with loved ones in a healthy way and practice using your voice when it is difficult.
  • Develop friendships and relationshipswith more people, so you'll have a strong support system and more people to turn to when you're struggling.
  • Get involved in building your self-esteembecome more confident and competent in their abilities.
  • Stay healthytaking care of health: self-caretechniquesyou can rely on in case of problems.

Anxious, ambivalent attachment: a review

Frequently asked questions

  • What does restless, preoccupied attachment look like?

    Characteristics of an anxious-busy attachment include low self-esteem, constant need for reassurance, over-reliance on relationships, fear of rejection and abandonment, trouble trusting partners, and hypersensitivity to others' moods.

  • How to solve restless attachment?

    (Video) 7 Signs Of ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT

    While restless, preoccupied attachment can cause problems, it is possible to heal and develop a safer attachment style. Working on building healthy bonds, including with friends, family, and romantic partners, can help people recover. Psychotherapy can be an important part of this process, so talk to a mental health professional about treatment options.

  • How do you love someone with an anxious and busy attachment?

    If someone you love has an anxious and preoccupied attachment style, there are strategies that can help. Bet on consistency and reliability. Express your feelings clearly and be careful not to underestimate your partner's feelings.

What is emotional attachment and is it healthy?

(Video) ๐Ÿ’ž Top 5 Signs Of Anxious Attachment You Need To Know About


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